See yourself first
As human beings, we all desire to be seen, appreciated, validated and yet most of us fear showing up and showing ourselves. If you think back, a lot of us grew up pretty much invisible. We were not seen, our feelings were not seen and the only times we were truly looked at or seen was when we were in trouble. This, in my opinion, has led many of us to only see ourselves when we make a mistake, when we fail. Our inner critic is very much alive to get us to see our failures and mistakes. However, when we do something well and this could be stuff we consider mundane (if you do anything long enough, it stops being impressive) but it is still stuff and we are doing it well, the brain does not see it. However, we wait for people to see all the great things we have done, all the effort we have put in, though we will never admit it.
But if you do not see yourself, why do you expect others to?
Women can be doing so much and yet their first thoughts are “I did not do this or I could have done this better or this is nothing”. Remember, if you do something well long enough, no one sees it. Most women are running the home, working, and there are so many little things they are managing that they do not even realize they are doing and yet women never give themselves enough credit. I find myself accomplishing many tasks and yet at the end of the day, I proclaim, “I did nothing or what I did is nothing or that it does not matter”.
Before people can see you, it is important that you see yourself.
See all that you are doing and celebrate it. Celebrating is a muscle. If you do not practice celebrating, the truth is, you won’t know how to celebrate the big stuff. After a while nothing is really celebrated. So how do we celebrate the small things and really feel it? Have a small action that you can take, a clap, a little dance, a jump, send the message to the body that you are celebrating. Then, say something to yourself, take a moment to see yourself and what you did and say “well done”, “you are awesome”. Celebrate the small things on your to-do lists.
I sent an email (you prob already sent 10 before you realize it) WooHoo!!!! High five
I put the clothes for wash… Woohoo!!!! You got this!!!!. A little dance!
It may seem silly initially but what you are doing is taking the time to see all that you do and how amazing it is! You want others not to take you for granted; you do not want to feel invisible, like you don’t matter. The first step is to see yourself and celebrate yourself and celebrate all the small things you do.
The brain needs something to focus on. If you keep focusing on all the things that you have not done, all you see is someone who is not good enough. If you focus on all the things you are doing, you will start to see the awesome person that you are.
Many of my clients have big resistance to celebrating or praising as they feel it is shameful to be praising oneself. They do not want to “get full of themselves”. Everyone always knows someone who brags. Braggarts are shouting for attention, they do not own their power because, they are looking for others to validate them. I feel that if you see yourself enough, this need to get people’s attention will be gone. You will own your power. You are simply celebrating life and building an abundance mindset.